The Golden Apple Corps

Ed-ju-muh-ka-shin

So, like i said before i was away for a while. Well lots happened. Tonight I'm going to bitch tell you about the wonder-fullness that is my future education. Pfft...

So around October of last year i started to get things in gear for me to go to school and get a bachelors of art history. Ohh sounds neat but I know it a fuck all degree. Oh this happens to be the degree previously mentioned in this blog in January. So yeah, I got a plan of going back to school and getting a future is some thing i really love doing, art. I love art, i love being a snob and knowing more about art then other people, yes art can be interpreted in many different ways but compared to my ways you ways look dumb. I like that. Its about the only fucking thing I've got any talent at. So yeah i apply, and send money, i get transcripts and send money and i wait. and send money. So I've got about 400 bucks invested in this come the wend of January. that's 400 dollars in application fees, Jesus Christ!

Oh and! i need to have a portfolio. Well shit! that's no problem, im an art geek, i can whip one of those up in no time, right! Right? ...waiting on some inspiration here people, lets go! I'm about half way through my first of 10 necessary works for my portfolio and its only taken me a month to do, thank god the dead line is only 2 months away. Inspiration is a fickle bitch.

So  I'm paying a ridiculous amount in application fees, my portfolio is %5 complete and by this point im feeling some stress. Then I get an email.

Hi Tangent,

My name is Michael FUCK-WAD and I am the student adviser for the
Department of Art and Art History at the University of COW-TOWN.

As an applicant to the Art History program, I wanted to let you know
that the Faculty of Fine Arts will be deferring entrance into the Art
History program this year.

Essentially this means that no new students will be admitted to the Art
History major for the 2009-2010 school year.

For assistance with changing your application to another program at the
University of Calgary, you can contact Marian at xxx-xxx-xxxx

The Faculty of Fine Arts regrets this change and hopes that you continue
to be interested in studying at the University.

Fucking what? Excuse me? No,no this is a mistake... So i called. No mistake. But they, kindly, gave me an alternative. I could go into social sciences or some shit like that and possibly transfer majors next year. However, the entrance requirements to this SS major are much lower, but the odds of me being  able to transferr to AH next year are slim since is such a competitive degree ( apparently being an art snot is a coveted thing, i dunno) and the courses i need in my first year i wouldn't be able to take them all sincee its not an AH degree. So in a nut hell i get this as "you spent 400 bucks for nothing, you have to wait a year before you get to have a hoity toity education and if you really cant wait you just might fuck your self"

I hate university's. H8.

But I'm not giving up. Ive recently started looking to to becoming an acupuncturist. There are 3 vocational schools near me that have that degree, one even has a Dr. of acupuncture. I don't know how that works though, isn't a Dr. a 8 year thing? but this is only 4 years... i dunno.

More later, stay tuned.

-Tangent

A plauge on both your houses!

So I've been violently ill for the past few weeks, hence my no show.

But Im mostly better now so things should go back to normal soon.

-Tangent

Projection

  -Tangent

Sugestion?

Watch 'Sex Drive'. Its young dirty humor with lots of nakedness but some of their one liners actually made me laugh, out loud, alone in my apartment, with my dog. They were that good!

Also, people who run from confrontation suck. Man up.

-Tangent

P.S. I've some how lost my voice, I don't know if its from screaming and yelling at the club or if I'm just getting sick but taking away a woman's ability to talk is just mean. Its like cruel and unusual punishment and I am not impressed.

Noming the cookies

So Racetracks’ boyfriend/booty call has a little brother, and today just so happens to be his birthday, so we're going out to some place called the Road House... it sounds kind of hip and 'uppity' but the name makes me thing of death proof and other good movies like that and I want to go in my bike gear and start a fight, lol.

Just kidding! But if there as a fight I would so beat someone up...or at least give them a run for their money...

OKAY!! SO I’m back from the club and holy shit racetrack, you’re a fucking drama queen! So I gotta tell the intewebz about my night as a spectator. We head out to a club called ’the roadhouse' as I mentioned before. we coat check and get drinks, I get my typical Corona and hey what do you know bartender is a cutie so I’m all ' what’s your name', and after playing it up he tells me, 'my names Joel, the VIP guy', and then he bends me over backwards and fucks me till I have an earth shattering orgasm and start speaking another languages and pours a shot down my throat. Hot. Night goes on, lots of dancing lots of pictures lots of fun and then TR's boyfriend thing gets all hot and heavy with a cubby but scantily clad 'friend'. RT sees this, it’s like a train wreck, it’s awful to watch but she cannot look away. I tried everything to distract her but alas I’m sure you can guess what’s happening next. I saw it coming too. he wises up to his fuck up and come up to fix it and she blows him off, this goes on for a while and finally I sit him down and say 'Dude she’s pissed, back off and let her cool down, get some flowers tomorrow and everything will be alright' and things are good. RT and I continue having a good time. And then... why is there always an 'and then'?

So, and follow closely, RT's boyfriends friend's girlfriend ( it’s okay to read that twice) got all up in her face about making her boyfriend feel bad and cry ( I’m thinking what a pansy but hey, it’s not my guy) and seriously got in RT face. RT's a karate kid, has been for a long time and this chick doesn’t know what’s being packed beneath the fluffy white halter top. So I step in and keep them apart. I was doing the stranger a favour. people are yelling and screaming 'fight' and 'kick her ass' and doing everything they can to egg her on but between the nail marks on my hands I think I saved her life and stopped RT and I from getting band for annihilating this chick. RT's boy cried himself home and we had a good rest of the night.

So why the hell would complete strangers feel like they have the right to tell you what to and not to do? That’s a bit rude right? I think if I had been in RT's place I wouldn’t have shoved her I would have just knocked her the fuck out and saved myself the drama.

Oh and you there, guy in the white shirt and 400 dollar pants, you smell sooo good, but I forgot your name.

 -Tangent

Exit stage left

Alright alright I'm back, Jesus. Stop cryin'

So yeah lol cats are approved by this girl, in all their cute glory. But seriously 'Kan iz haz cheezburger nao?' it gets a bit old but they are TOO cute. But cute only last so long and apparently that length is 400 freaking pages.

So in other news Voorhees had her birthday on the weekend and got blitzed drunk and had a band that is accurately named 'METAL FORCE' singer her happy birthday in that bad at closing time kind of way, and then as we made our grand and exuberant exit the whole drunken 3 am crowd wanted in on the music and we got yet another rendition of the most off key, slurred, screamy/screechy happy birthday to have ever blessed my ears. It was magnificent. She was so drunk and so embarrassed that she bowed and couldn't get back up because her face was burning red. What an excellent birthday!

That was my Saturday, Sunday was not so good. My Aikido Sensei, Inaba Sensei passed away and Sunday was his funeral. I had never met Inaba Sensei, he was ill long before I arrived to Cow Town, but what happened was remarkable. I have only been going to Aikido for about 3 or 4 weeks now and I love it, I will be doing Aikido for the rest of my life, I just get it, I'm not good at it yet but I get it. Inaba Sensei built the dojo that I go to, his establishment enabled me to have a passion, a hobby, something to give myself to, so I felt not only obliged to go to his funeral, but honoured to witness the passing of humanities titans, one of its great people. A person that was truly loved and will always be missed. The senior students who are there said a few times that people should arrive early so get parking and seat so I did just that and showed up a half hour early and took my seat. In time the family came in and they wheeled the casket in and the funeral began. I'm not Christian, I don’t particularly like Christianity but I can understand why some people do, it’s just not my bag, so when the preacher went off for 45 minutes and sang songs praising god and what not I have to admit that my hang over was blatantly apparent on my face, but through the need to dry heave I stayed and sat and listened, cause he deserved it, he, though we never met, deserved more respect from me then I was capable of giving. Then one of his patients and best friends spoke, he spoke of how Inabas daily routine held so much care, loving and healing that it fixed him and made him whole again, about the friendship they shared and the memories they made. He spoke of Inaba Sensei’s family and how they need not be alone. Then one of our senior students spoke of his time with Inaba Sensei, the comrodore, the compassion, the laughing, the learning. His family spoke and thanked us for coming and that he would miss his father very much. Inaba Sensei's Sensei, one of the men who taught him Aikido, flew in from Japan the night before just to be there, was there and spoke. It was amazing, but it wasn’t the most stunning part.

The auditorium that the funeral was held in could hold maybe as many as 100 people, 150 if some stood. There were over 400 people that came to this mans funeral. I somehow got a seat because I was early.They let the people standing say good bye first, understandably and I sat for a good half hour waiting, as people walked past my pew, all of them mournful and sad, some openly crying others stoned face not knowing how to deal with the loss. There were some that just walked past the casket without saying good bye, face buried in their tissues. It was incredible to see. I have never known a man or woman to be so missed and by proxy so loved as Inaba Sensei. I could feel the sorrow in the air, it was think and tangible, touchable and you could grab it with your hands and put it in your pocket so that you could look back on it later and think holy fuck, I hope I matter as much as that man did.

So I may not have known Inaba Sensei personally, but I feel as though I know him, and I am a prouder, better human being for being part of his Dojo, for being part of his legacy.

There's more to this, but I'll tell you later

-Tangent